How you deal with a breakup can make a big difference in being able to heal from it and move on. Breakups are devastating enough without unintentionally adding to the suffering afterward. How can you get past the breakup without creating more pain and scars?

Use these strategies to rebuild your life:

1. Avoid chasing your ex. Once a relationship is over, it’s usually better to just move on.  woman at a peaceful lake in the snow

* Although it’s hard to move on, it’s important to avoid living in the past. You may be tempted to continue communicating with your ex. However, to heal your mind and spirit, a clean break is the best option.

2. Avoid checking up on your ex online. Social media and other online networks can make it easy to check up on your ex. However, you don’t want this to turn into cyberstalking. You need the space to get past the breakup.

3. Focus on friendships. After a devastating breakup, your friends can help you get past it. They can listen to your issues, offer advice, and encourage you.

* During a relationship, you may have lost touch with some of your friends. Now is a perfect time to focus on your friends again.

4. Give yourself time. It takes time to get over a difficult breakup.

* You may feel like you’re not making enough progress to get over your previous partner.

* You need time to get over the relationship and move on. Avoid pushing yourself to date again or find a new relationship right away. It’s crucial to create the space and time to heal.

* It’s normal to cry, be upset, or want to be alone after a hard breakup. Avoid stifling or hiding your feelings.

5. Create new memories in old places. You may have memories of being with your ex at your favorite coffee shop or restaurant, making it hard for you to go to these places again. However, an important part of moving on is to create new memories in old places.

* For example, you can visit the coffee shop where you had your first date with an ex and replace the memory with something new. Turn it into a different memory by taking your friends.

woman alone looking out a window

after a bad break up – what to do

* In the beginning, it may be easier to avoid places that have deep memories of your relationship. Over time, visiting these spots will become easier.

6. Find new hobbies. One of the positive aspects of a breakup is that you get more free time. Fill this free time with new hobbies that don’t have anything to do with your ex.

* What are some of your favorite activities that you’ve neglected because of a relationship?

* What do you enjoy doing by yourself and haven’t had the time to do recently?

* What new hobby would you like to try?

A breakup can affect you in multiple ways, but there are things you can do to make it a little easier on yourself. Follow these strategies and soon you’ll find that you’re looking forward to new experiences in your life.